what has become of me?

what has become of me? i’m not really sure. the world is so different than it used to be. everything is so focused on right now. we’re always connected, always on and always ready to go.

this global change in perspective seems to be taking a toll on me. when i spend only moments disconnected from the “network,” i feel a longing for it. i’m afraid to miss something: the latest news, places to go, a better option.

even the things i used to find fulfilling, occupying myself in a solitary fashion, leave me afraid that i’ll be passing up something.

i hate this. i feel chained. and why do i have to be constant connected to gain any sort of fulfillment. of course, i’m sure it’s fallacious anyway.

i feel like such a rebel when i reject the trend. if i stay home, or sleep through the day, or ignore my mobile phone’s persistent hum, i get a bleak smirk of accomplishment on my face.  what have i accomplished? to escape the system, i have to forgo the things i once loved. and in the end, have i really escaped? if they wanted to find me,  they could. because i’ve been here all along.